Who I am vs. who I want to be

Plus, work-life balance is a trap and your lifestyle has already been designed

Welcome to Curious G — a weekly email about personal growth and lifestyle design.

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Lifestyle Design: Who I am vs. who I want to be

Weekly Write-up: The work-life balance conversation is a trap

What I’m learning: Your lifestyle has already been designed

Lifestyle Design

I walk a thin line between my present and future self in my desire for progress.

I’ve always used “I’m not good enough” as motivation, relying on my perceived inadequacy to push me to progress.

It’s how I learned to motivate myself.

The problem with this way of thinking is that it discredits my present self along with all the work I’ve invested to become who I am today. I’m paying for my future at the expense of my present.

On top of that, I limit my aspirations for the future to shield myself from potential disappointment, cutting the thread of success fantasies to avoid “getting my hopes up.”

But this mindset only helps cement the belief that I am not good enough and probably won’t ever be.

I’m working on a different approach:

Believing my ideal future self and my present self can coexist. I can be the best version of me I’ve ever been while chasing my best self.

I can use self-love as a motivator, rather than self-hate.

I can feed my dreams, allowing them to pull me towards my desired outcomes.

I can work toward more without making the present inadequate.

Weekly Write-up

The work-life balance conversation is bullshit.

Why would I take this off-brand stance? Well, because it assumes that your work is the other half to your life, predefining that work as a job.

The intention is noble: setting better boundaries at work. But taking a step back, isn’t something inherently wrong with viewing your job and life on the same playing field?

There is nothing wrong with the work itself. Anything worthwhile in life — relationships, personal growth, and yes, your job — requires hard work to excel.

But pitting work against life in a balancing act sets us up for failure. It’s the wrong problem to solve.

A job is a significant part of life, but just one part. Recognizing this, we can approach a balanced life more holistically and meaningfully.

What I’m Learning

“The ultimate tool for corporations to sustain a culture of this sort is to develop the 40-hour workweek as the normal lifestyle. Under these working conditions people have to build a life in the evenings and on weekends. This arrangement makes us naturally more inclined to spend heavily on entertainment and conveniences because our free time is so scarce.

I’ve only been back at work for a few days, but already I’m noticing that the more wholesome activities are quickly dropping out of my life: walking, exercising, reading, meditating, and extra writing.

The one conspicuous similarity between these activities is that they cost little or no money, but they take time.”

— David Cain

I enjoy reading from people who have had experience with long-term travel. The juxtaposition of that life contrasted with the normal everyday working experience that most of us operate within creates some unique realizations. You’ll find some of those in this piece.

Recommendation Zone

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